Having a baby is one of the most special, yet vulnerable times in a mom’s life. Yes, newborns are adorably soft, sweet and delicious. However, with them come a plethora of questions that simply cannot be answered, because you literally have to figure out what your baby needs based on pure body language and the sound of their cries.
As a new mom, you will worry all the time. If your baby is getting enough milk, enough sleep, too much sleep, did they poop, why is the poop that colour, milestones… The worry list is endless. Please know that this is absolutely normal, and we know there are questions that you may have that you feel too embarrassed to ask out loud. Maybe out of fear of being shamed or judged. But we’re here to say, worry no more, help is here.
We hope that after you read this, you’ll feel empowered and confident that you’ve got this!
Top 12 Questions New Moms Are Too Afraid To Ask Answered
1. Will I spoil my baby if I hold her too much?
The answer to this question is a definite ‘No!’ Newborns need lots of attention and touch. You might worry or unfortunately, other people might tell you – that if you hold them too much, you will ‘spoil’ your baby.
Be assured this won’t happen. Research has shown that young babies cannot consciously connect cause and effect. Holding your baby and giving them the attention they need can only deepen that beautiful bond between you two.
2. Why is my baby crying so much?
This is quite an extensive question, but let’s just, first of all, eliminate the notion that new moms just instinctively know why. You won’t know, at least in the beginning. So it essentially becomes a process of elimination and finding the cause of her distress.
Common Reasons why babies cry:
- Hunger
- Needs to be held
- Tired
- Too hot or cold
- Wet or soiled nappy
Remember it’s normal for babies to cry, so try not to blame yourself. As you gradually get to know your baby you’ll learn to interpret her cries and figure out which techniques work best for her, but this comes with time.
3. Does it make me a bad mother if I don’t exclusively breastfeed?
No, not at all. If you’re unable or choose not to breastfeed exclusively, for whatever reason, you should know that you are not alone. There are many ways to successfully feed your baby, such as;
- Combination fed: When your baby receives any available breastmilk (by nursing or pumping) in addition to baby formula.
- Expressing: Your baby will receive your milk and volumes can be monitored if their growth is a concern.
- Formula-fed: Your baby receives baby formula, exclusively. Formulas are a nutritious alternative to breast milk.
Whichever way you choose to feed your baby, you should do so without any guilt or shame, because you will know what is best for your baby and yourself.
4. I should be over the moon, so why do I feel so sad?
The most common culprit is your hormones. After you’ve had your baby, and you began to breastfeed, your hormone levels changed significantly. You might find yourself crying in the days after the birth of your baby, you are not alone, up to eighty percent of new moms experience baby blues.
This usually occurs 2 to 3 days after your baby is born, but can last up to 2 weeks.
If your feelings of sadness last longer than that or become worse instead of better, you may have what’s called postpartum depression. It’s important to see your doctor immediately, don’t wait for your six weeks check-up. Treatment can help you feel like yourself again.
5. Will I ever sleep again?
Yes you will, but probably not like you did before your baby arrived. Feeling zombie-like pretty much comes with the territory when you have a new baby. Newborns need constant care and attention, which means your entire sleeping schedule is thrown out of the window, but poor sleep can adversely affect your health. There are however solutions to help you sleep better.
First of all, understand and accept that sleep deprivation is a part of the process now. Express and store milk so that someone else can feed your baby when you are asleep. Extra hands and family members can ease the load and help you get some much-needed rest, so accept help.
6. Why am I struggling to adjust to motherhood?
The adjustment to motherhood is not an easy task. For many, this adjustment requires going through a lot of complex, difficult emotions, and experiences. Also, keep in mind that motherhood is a long journey and those first few months are spent learning to see yourself as a mother and trying to understand your baby better.
You can overcome this struggle by connecting with other parents. Having a connection with other parents and sharing online or in-person groups can help you feel better. This sense of community can help you navigate through this time of transition and help you feel less isolated.
7. Why am I struggling to breastfeed my baby?
The truth is, breastfeeding may not always be effortless. It’s very common for moms, especially first-time moms, to need a bit of assistance getting the baby to latch on properly.
Difficulties with getting your baby to latch, a low milk supply, and sore nipples are just some of the challenges you may encounter as you nurse your baby. In these instances, it would be advisable to get in contact with a lactation consultant.
Lactation consultants are extensively trained in breastfeeding and can assess your baby’s mouth, as well as assist you with latching, positioning, feeding plans and remedies to help heal your sore nipples.
8. Why do I still look pregnant?
This is absolutely normal, you may feel swollen, or think you still look pregnant after you’ve given birth, but it takes quite a while for your uterus to contract back to its normal size.
But, also be aware of not feeling overwhelmed by the “Bounce Back” culture. Don’t succumb to the pressures of society that tell us the whole purpose of postpartum should be to get your body back. Instead, enjoy this time with your new baby. Motherhood is a beautiful experience.
Focus on healing and bonding with your baby. When the time comes and your doctor clears you to exercise, take it easy and work on progressively getting stronger. Your body has been through so much, so give yourself some grace.
9. I don’t feel like I am bonding with my baby. Am I a bad mom?
No, you are not a bad mom. Absolutely not! It is a common experience among moms with perinatal mental illness to feel disconnected to their babies and to worry about bonding. It’s very easy to get overwhelmed with guilt about this, but you can and will develop attachments to your baby. The most important thing you can do is get help as soon as possible.
10. Should I vaccinate my baby?
You may worry that your baby is too young to be vaccinated. It is normal to be concerned. Even though babies are born with immune systems that can fight most germs, there are some deadly diseases they can’t handle. That’s why they need vaccines to strengthen their immune system. Their immune system may still be immature, but it will be ready to develop an immune response to the vaccines.
11. How will I know my baby is getting enough milk?
Because you can’t see how much milk your baby drinks when breastfeeding, you may worry she isn’t getting enough. As the milk starts to flow you may notice your baby slows her sucking rhythm. Your baby will give you cues to tell you if she’s had enough. Many babies may take one, two or three sittings at the breast before they are finished. When your baby gets a good feed she will usually seem ‘milk drunk’ immediately afterwards. She’ll be relaxed and her body language will show you she’s satiated. Nappies are also a good indicator that she is getting enough milk. At this stage, your breastfed baby will have five or more wet nappies a day and at least two soft, yellow poos, usually more.
12. Is it normal to not like being a mom?
The reality is that it’s quite normal to not like being a mom from time to time. When you decided to have a baby, you gave up a huge part of your life. Now, it’s the baby’s life and needs that matter most. You’ll eat last, sleep last, and just generally become last on your list of priorities.
It is however important that you take some time for yourself, if you don’t give yourself some self-care, you are going to burn out. Therefore, turn off your guilty inner voice and carve out some time to take a bubble bath, read a book, or take a nap. Just doing one of these things will help you recharge.
Get Your Village Involved
We do hope that these questions have helped and maybe allayed some of your fears or challenges of being a new mom.
You don’t have to be ashamed of your feelings or if you’ve doubted yourself or felt confused. Remember being a mom does not mean you have to do it or go through it alone. Ask for help and get your village involved. Take care of yourself. Give yourself grace and acknowledge your daily wins. You’ve got this!
If you have any other questions as a new mom, let us know in the comments!
Drypers stock a variety of nappies and pullups to accomodate all the different stages of healthy active babies. Shop Drypers Wee Wee Dry, Drypers Touch and Skinature by Drypers here. Or stock up on Drypers Drypantz pull-ups for the toddler in training.
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